There was a time when a stiff upper lip was all that was needed. Our grandparents didn’t have the luxury of debating what felt right or whether people were truly happy. Choices were scarce in comparison to what we have today. And few indulged in anything so frivolous as discussing their feelings.
Things aren’t like that now. We tend to have close friends or colleagues we can talk to. It’s good to have that support. And friends are always on our side. Always ready to offer support, a comforting word, a shoulder to cry on. They back you up. We can leave them after a glass of wine or a comforting cuppa and sleep better, having off-loaded our thoughts.
Friends are good like that.
But will your friends challenge your thinking? Are your friends confident in the sustainability of your relationship to really push back? … and would they ensure that push-back is going to progress your thinking, rather than make you feel uncomfortable?
If your answer to all of the above is a resounding ‘yes’ then you probably don’t need a life coach. And you are very lucky.
Most of us go carefully when faced with a friend in dilemma. Asking a friend to take the role of a coach means a change in the dynamics. There’s a huge difference between enjoying a friendship which has built its value over time, sharing stores, concerns and frustrations, to a professional relationship established for a particular purpose.
Ok, so what about self-help books?
The shelves in bookstores are flooded with them. There are more than ever.
Whether read in your lunch break at your local coffee shop or in the privacy of your bedroom at the end of the day, there’s no doubt that self-help books make us feel more positive simply by completing the purchase! Personally, I love them. And I may put one out there myself, too.
Can your book perform Time Line Therapy while you take in another chapter over your chicken and avocado on rye? *
Will it read between your lines?
Does your book know how to flush out the deeper truths of your story?
Will it know how to help you de-limit your possibilities?
Let’s be clear – you need your friends. And books are usually beneficial. I’m a big fan of both. But can either of these take the place of a Life Coach?
No. They can’t.
Our mums may not have had Life Coaches, but they didn’t have personal trainers either. Or shellac nails.
Life is different now to how it was 30 years ago… We have different choices to make. We live with different pressures. Gone are the days of keeping up with the Joneses. Now we have the Beckhams to think of.
We look back on the greed of the 80s and 90s with wisdom. But the pressures of today come from a different expectation establishing itself in the air. Far more debatable yet talked about at a surprisingly superficial level with our nearest and dearest. Maybe that’s just because it’s more difficult to get under the surface of what’s going on inside.
We want our Christmas table to be as creative as Kirsty’s and our parties to be as sumptuous as Nigella’s. We find ourselves confused by what we feel versus what we think we should feel. And the lives depicted in media get tangled with reality. What we see around us, real or not, muddles our confidence about what whether we should be happy with what we have now and whether we should be paying any attention to our truest Hope and Dreams.
What do we expect of ourselves now?
What do you want for yourself now?
Getting the promotion is not always enough to feel you’re doing ok anymore.
Now we choose where to put our boundaries. But we need to understand where we want them to be. It’s no surprise we have trouble sleeping!
Read books, use top tips (some of which you’ll get from my blog). Spend time with your friends and value those relationships.
If you injure yourself on your daily run, you’ll give a physiotherapist a call. And if you have toothache, you’ll call your dentist.
So…. Who needs a Life Coach?
Probably all of us, at some point.
To talk about coaching with me, give me a call on 07393 722129.
* Not all Life Coaches have the same qualifications.
I am qualified in NLP, Time Line Therapy and Hypnotherapy as well as numerous additional courses to support and expand my understanding and methods in coaching.